What are your thoughts on fairness?
The reason I ask is — I was helping someone to overcome money issues, and we discovered a Powerful limiting belief that was holding him back. And because this is a very common one, and it’s a sneaky one (it’s in disguise) — I wanted to share it with you, too.
Is it Fair?
I asked him these three questions:
1. How do you know you have a problem with money?
“I never seem to get beyond a certain point, no matter what I do.”
2. How does that feel?
“It feels unfair.”
3. Where in your childhood did you feel that same feeling?
He told me about how, even though he was several years older than his younger brother and sister, his parents always treated them all exactly the same.
Now, at first, this may seem like a good idea — it’s “fair”. His parents’ intentions were good — they didn’t want any of their children to feel left out, they wanted them to feel they were treated equally, and all equally important.
However… when you think about it from the point of view of each child, survival instinct, and the subconscious, it can be one of the biggest issues.
The Danger of Fairness
- We are designed for survival. And one of the instincts for survival is to be special. If I’m the most important one, I will survive. “They” will protect me if I’m the special one.
Being treated the same may be understood by the conscious mind — it can be explained to the child, and the child’s conscious mind can understand it, but the subconscious and the child’s sense of survival doesn’t have the ability to understand logic or reason.
- “Fairness” becomes a core belief that, in this client’s case, was holding him back from achieving his goals and living up to his potential. Because, in the background, his subconscious was programmed to make sure he was aware of others — and that no-one feels left out.
If he makes more money than others — that’s not fair to the others.
Again, remember: The subconscious can’t use logic or reason. So, the fact that he didn’t consciously think that way, and consciously really wanted more money — had no impact on the subconscious “rule” of fairness!
Here’s the Most Important Point of This Article:
It wasn’t just that it felt unfair to be treated the same as his younger siblings — it was that his subconscious built a belief that he can’t have something that others don’t have!
THAT is where the danger is!
The “Unfair Advantage”
So, I suggested he change his childhood memories, and create new ones — where he always had the “unfair advantage”.
He was fine with the word “advantage” but the word “unfair” felt wrong to him. The idea of having an “unfair advantage” really didn’t feel right to him.
When I asked him to explain his concept of an “unfair advantage” to me, he said:
“Well, if I was in a race, and I was starting from the 3-quarter mark, and everyone else was starting at the starting line — that would be unfair.”
I asked him why that would be unfair?
And what would the solution be? What would he do, if he found himself starting ahead like that, at that point on the field? What would be the right thing to do?
What would YOU do?
Wait for the others? Run slower to give them a chance to catch up? Go back to the starting line?
If so… does that make sense when you’re wanting to accomplish your goals of being happy, healthy, wealthy, or successful?
How does that help you to get what you want?
Or.. would you, instead, appreciate the head-start, and make the most of it?
The Truth About the “Unfair Advantage”
We all have an unfair advantage over someone.
If you think about everyone in the world who wants to be happy, healthy, wealthy, and/or successful:
- Those who have electricity have an “unfair advantage” over those who don’t
- Those who have access to the internet have an “unfair advantage” over those who don’t
- Those who have transport…
- Those who have supportive friends…
- Those who aren’t in pain…
- Those who aren’t feeling ill…
- Those who are currently enjoying good weather…
- Those who aren’t in a mud-slide…
- Those who don’t have high taxes to pay…
- Those who can see…
- Those who… you get the idea! ;)
None of it is “fair”.
We don’t all start at the “starting line” of the same race.
Fairness is an illusion. It doesn’t exist. It doesn’t exist in nature at all.
It is an illusion — and a debilitating one.
Apart from supporting a victim mentality of “It’s not fair” — the HIDDEN problem with the belief in the illusion of fairness is that it unconsciously holds you back from your own potential!
Even if you consciously understand that there is no such thing as fairness — if you still have childhood memories of “fairness” being a thing, your subconscious will be referring to that as “evidence” of how the world works… and then affecting your judgement, your decisions, and the actions you take, without your even being aware of it.
The Weird Connection Between Unfair Childhood Punishment and Money Problems as an Adult!
I was speaking with someone a few days ago, who couldn’t see how the injustice and punishment he experienced as a child…
- Every child needs to be treated as if they are special. Every child IS special — they are not the same. Every child needs (and has) an “unfair advantage” of some kind. Every child needs to be guided in becoming aware of — and making the most of — their own “unfair advantages”.
THAT programs that child’s subconscious for success by providing evidence that proves they are special, and therefore able to achieve their goals, deserve love and abundance, and that it’s safe and good to succeed.
2. Replace fairness with love, kindness, and compassion… and an appreciation, respect, and gratitude for the unfair advantages (your own and others’) — making the most of them.
Making the most of your unfair advantages will do more for those around you than holding yourself back so that others don’t feel bad.
By making the most of “starting at the 3-quarter line” in a particular race — and honoring that gift by winning the race — you are inspiring those who come after you… AND you can allow the feelings of appreciation, joy, accomplishment, achievement, kindness, and compassion to overflow from you, to those around you.
3. Change your childhood — to where you always had the “unfair advantage” (use what we teach to get comfortable with that term, and to create those new memories) — where you were special!
Create memories of you having things your siblings and class-mates didn’t have — and imagine them saying “Ah, you’re so lucky! I wish I had _______” and “I wish I could ________ like you!” and so on. See them wishing they had what you have — THAT is a Powerful message to your subconscious that will help to provide the supporting evidence for what you want to achieve in your life now!!
You can treat others with kindness, compassion, respect, and love, without holding yourself back.
You can shine as the example. And being in the Superpower state is the easiest way to do that, naturally.
Your subconscious cannot tell the difference between reality and imagination, can’t use logic or reason, and cannot judge something as unrealistic.
1. Even though you may consciously understand this information — your subconscious will be referring to your childhood memories for the “evidence” so it is essential to change that “evidence” to prove what you want to achieve now.
2. Your subconscious will believe whatever you give it.
Please share this article with those you feel would benefit from it.
FREE STARTER PACK for Changing Childhood Memories
Get started on changing your subconscious programming — it’s quick, and it’s free! Starter Pack.
- MP3 Audio Guide — the 2-minute exercise for changing your brain chemistry (emotional state)
- Cheat Sheet — what subconscious references are and how to find the subconscious childhood memories that are providing the “evidence” for your current limiting beliefs
- Video Guide — follow along to change negative childhood memories to support the results you want to experience now.