The Hidden Danger of The Silent Treatment

If either of your parents used “the silent treatment” when they weren’t pleased with you — it may be impacting your adult life in ways you are completely unaware of. Parents withholding attention, ignoring their children, or shutting their child out of their company — is a common coping skill; and it seems harmless. But the hidden long-term damage can completely change the adult that child becomes. The great news is — the damage can be changed!

The silent treatment is an apparently harmless alternative to other, harsher punishments, but when we look a little deeper, the effects can be debilitating in later life.

The Unconscious Survival Instinct

We are wired to survive. Survival is the top priority since, if we don’t survive, nothing else matters, of course.

To that unconscious, automatic part of the brain that keeps us alive, one of the criteria for survival is acceptance and approval by those who raise us.

To that unconscious survival instinct: If those we depend on, disapprove of us in any way, we may not be fed or protected. If they have to choose to save just one, they may choose one of our siblings instead.